A Dangerous Fit
by RuneYue
Summary: Kenpachi hates mind games. Especially when he has no chance of winning. T for language, mainly. One shot. Crack-ish.


**Title:** A Dangerous Fit**  
Series: **Bleach, Naruto**  
Parings/Characters:** Kenpachi, Sakura, Yachiru. Ikkaku and Yumichika in passing.**  
Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Kubo. Kishimoto has dibs on Naruto and, with it, Sakura.**  
Rating/Warnings:** T or PG-13, mainly for language. Crack, ahoy!**  
Dedication:** The 'Sakura Haruno is the Eleventh Division' fans.**  
Summary:** _Kenpachi hates mind games. Especially when he has no chance of winning._

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Kenpachi knows he's in trouble.

He doesn't know how, quite exactly, he got into this particular kind of trouble but he recognizes it all the same. And that worries him a bit, on both accounts.

_"Damn fuckin' 'paternal instincts' or whatever that word was that Yumi keeps usin',"_ he thinks angrily. For a moment he isn't sure if he's more upset about the situation he's currently in or because, somehow, the sparkly Fifth Seat managed to influence his vocabulary yet _again_.

Regardless, Kenpachi has no idea how he got into this sort of trouble and, on top of that, he really doesn't like it when things sneak up on him like this.

_"Damned ninjas were always a pain in th' ass.",_he thinks, feeling just a bit more pissed off than before.

The irony of that thought isn't lost on him as he glances to the taller of the two pink haired girls that are currently glaring at him - expecting an answer that any idiot could give, but _oh-fuckin'-no_, he has to do it - he somehow found himself in charge of and, for some even more fucked up reason, in trouble because of.

She's was a ninja whilst alive, he knew. Medical ninja, to be precise, which makes the idea of just how she became under his order out of all of the damn Gotei Thirteen even more ridiculous. That doesn't mean she isn't cut out to be a Shinigami of the Eleventh though, he thinks upon with a slight internal, feral, grin. In the short time she's been in Soul Society she's beaten up just as many people as his Yachiru has so, that right there is automatic Eleventh acceptance.

Kenpachi isn't even sure if anyone other than him has kicked as much ass as Yachiru has.

The fact that the new girl got herself all the way up to Fourth Seat in the span of a week is just all the more interesting. Really, that third fight last Monday had been down right_ hilarious_.

An annoyed sound to his right captures his attention, reminding him of his current troubles instead of past amusement, as his gaze moves down to the smaller pink haired girl, the one he's been looking after since what seems like for-friggin-_ever_. The one thing people thought of as his weakness until he taught her how to kill shit. The one who claimed her as "nee-chan".

Kenpachi reckons that this is her fault somehow. She brought the girl over here, afterall. He just can't really blame her for it, as the taller pinkette growls a bit at him, actually growls!, and he takes in the other part of the problem.

Really, normally she's a great shinigami. He couldn't say much differently about her, other than probably knowing a bunch of wimpy kido, but being well rounded is good for a fight. Surprises the dumbasses who think they know every thing there is to know and underestimate you and stupid shit like that. 's not a bad thing. Means your flexible is all.

It isn't just her healing abilities, kido included, or her fighting that makes her a good Eleventh Division Shinigami. It's the fact that she just seems to _fit_. Which is part of the trouble.

She works just as hard as the rest of them - sometimes harder -, plays just as hard - until some dumbfuck does something _stupid_ and then the kid gloves are off, usually with entertaining results-, and can, thank every God out there, cook better than all of them. She does that stupid dance with Madarame - for luck of all the stupid shit! -, goes shopping with Yumichika - and always buys something for Yachiru, which is kind of nice because he knows that she's no dirty rotten pervert out to bribe the kid and can relax now when he see's her with new candy or something shiny -, reads and plays with Yachiru - and can keep up with her, a friggin' miracle in itself -, can hold her own with all the other guys of their division and others and hell, she's even picked up on his own quirks and knows how to use 'em and work around 'em.

If anyone other than Yachiru pushed his buttons in such a way he'd slice 'em in half, no questions asked because he's Kenpachi Zaraki and he can do that. But here comes the ninja-girl and she, somehow, acts just like he supposes an older Yachiru would act and does some of the same things as Yachiru and he doesn't feel the need to chop her up for that, even if it's really frickin' annoying.

So, she's fitting in just fine within their own little world.

Dangerous, but fitting.

And now Yachiru is growling at him while Sakura's taken over the annoyed grunting sounds.

_Goddamn it._ He's adopted another one. And now it's official because he can't frickin' choose between 'em.

The fact that he has no idea what he was supposed to choose in the first place is irrelevant. He's still in trouble and he doesn't know how to escape. Barging his way through like usual just won't fuckin' work here!

"Well?",Sakura asks with annoyance as Yachiru's glare turns into a combination glare and pout and hits him right where only she can.

The new Fourth Seat's expression soon mirrors the smaller Vice Captain's and now he's really screwed.

Yachiru is whining now. "Ken-chan! Who killed more of the horsey-hollows!?"

"And not the one's with the blue markings either!",Sakura reminds, her tone whiny now, too.

Kenpachi blinks. Both pinkette's blink back, daring him to make a decision, the wrong one probably, so they can just gang up on him again. Friggin' brats.

_'Fuck.',_he thinks and, for the first time, is truly glad that there's only two females - and one guy that looks pretty damn girly - in his entire Division.

"Ken-chan!"

"Taichou!"

His nerves couldn't stand it any other way.

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Kind of cracked, isn't it? Eheh... I really couldn't help myself.

Thanks for reading, hope you've enjoyed it! Reviews are always accepted!


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